What’s LOVE got to do with it?

Twelve roses. Twelve days away! Ooo. St. Valentine’s Day is almost here. And speaking of love, romance… and well leadership… do you remember that TV show Married with Children? The one with Peg Bundy and Christina Applegate. I never really got into watching those reruns but I do remember the theme song went something like this:

Love and Leadership
Love and Leadership
Goes together like a treasure and a pirate ship.

Or something like that… heh. Alright so I changed the song up a bit to make it more centric to this blog post on love and leadership. Love. Life. Heartbreak. Love. Life. Happily Ever After. We hear it in the songs we sing. We pursue it for the sake of most everything… Ahhh love.

What’s love got to do with it, you say? Well, love and leadership have so much in common- one might suggest they are a match made in heaven. Both have the ability to test our mettle and both, it can be argued, are something that we all strive for (whether we would like to admit it or not). Both can be painful, challenging, triumphant, life altering, and ultimately- life affirming.

In his books The Rythm of Life and The Seven Levels of Intimacy, author Matthew Kelly brilliantly illustrates the path of leadership in your personal life. He urgently informs us that the sole purpose of your life is to become the best version of yourself.

Not the next Mother Theresa.
Not the next Michael Jordan.
Not the next Rosa Parks. Those people all became the best version of themselves.

Your job, your calling, your mission, your purpose is to become the best version of yourself. His words are intricately woven into memorable stories demonstrating how to get from Point A (where you are at right now in your life) to Point B (the best version of yourself). He addresses the four aspects of the human person: The Physical, The Emotional, The Spiritual, The Intellectual.

Spiritually, if we take the time to mediate, to pray, to walk nature- then we are making time to spiritually become the best version of ourselves.

Emotionally, we take the time to share conversation with others. We allow our spirits to be lifted and inspired by poetry, music, and laughter.

Physically, we choose to eat good foods. Foods that nourish us. Foods that strengthen us. We move our bodies and expend negative energy. We keep ourselves healthy, fit, active.

Mentally, we read good books. We dialogue about topics that are important to us and our development.

We can easily see the connection here to leadership and becoming the best version of yourself… but what does any of this have to do with L-O-V-E? EVERYTHING. Kelly goes further and argues that if you are single or if you are married and you are not reaching your full potential within your present relationship (either with yourself or with someone else) than try meditating on this daily mantra: “Be the person you want to be with.”

That’s it. Be the person you want to be with. Think about who you love. Who are you drawn to? Who do you aspire to share your life with? What is it about that person that makes you attracted to them? For some people this “person” is the person with whom they ‘d like to be married to. For others, (and those less romantically inclined while reading this post)this person can be represented by your “hero” – Warren Buffet, Ghandi, Jesus, Bono, Michael Jordon, Oprah, etc.

Be the person you want to be with.

If you want to be a professional athlete or a rock star or a billionaire- study those people.
Study their lives.
Study their HABITS.

To quote Matthew Kelly:
Life is choices. Ninety-percent of our happiness and ninety-percent of our misery come from our own choices. Choices create habits, habits create character, and your character is your destiny. If you can learn to master the moment of decision, you will master life. The art of living hinges on that moment when we choose between the-best-version-of-ourselves and some second-rate-version-of-ourselves.

Our lives change when our habits change. The difference between the heroes, leaders, legends, champions, and saints, and the rest of the masses marching through history is not freak luck… and God doesn’t have any favorites. The difference is they just had better habits. Men and women of extraordinary achievement fill their days, weeks, and months with habits that help them become the-best-version-of-themselves!

What stops most people from becoming the-best-version-of-themselves? It isn’t lack of time, money, education, contacts, or opportunities. No. Bad choices are what stop most people from becoming their best self. Good choices create habits that help you become the-best-version-of-yourself. Bad choices create habits that cause you to become some second-rate-version-of-yourself. If we fill our lives with addictions, cravings, and self-destructive habits, it won’t be long before we lose the passion for life. What is holding you back from having great relationships and achieving your dreams? Is it fear? Is it addiction? Are you hanging around the wrong group of people? Do you allow your critics to determine the direction of your life? Have you lost sight of what matters most?”

Be the person you want to be with.
Happy St. Valentine’s Day!!


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